I’ll Get My Coat

I tried doing stand-up once…. It went okay but I don’t think my nerves could cope with doing it again. I did a skit about my supposed resemblance to Wayne Rooney….

Where have you gone?….. Oh I know…. you’ve scrolled back a few pages to ‘Please Sir’ to see if I do look like him, I must a bit, as several people have said it, in fact one woman followed me down an airport departure lounge to get an autograph…..

Anyway back to comedy, inspired by Tim Vines Edinburgh Fringe winning ‘Hoover’ joke, I’ve written a few one liners……


What do you get if you cross D.J Psy and Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz’?…..

Gingham Style


Why did the chicken cross the road?…..

Who gives a cluck?


A retired Cavalry Officer has opened a barbers in our town, twenty quid for a haircut though… He knows how to charge.


And my favourite

I missed a programme on Tele about Tomatoes earlier, but I’ll watch it later on Ketchup…..


Boom…….. Tish………


Photo credit: Kjetil Ree (Wikipedia)