Please Sir…..

I came home a few days ago and got changed, I went to the wardrobe and pulled out the nearest polo shirt, then rummaged in the drawer and pulled out some shiny nylon shorts (why exactly do I own these?) . I completed the ensemble with a zipped sweatshirt. I came downstairs to be greeted by my wife with, “You look like a middle aged P.E. teacher…..All you need is a whistle round your neck…..” This for some reason made my 7 year old son launch in to hysterical laughter.  He then ran to his bedroom to look for his football whistle so I could borrow it, fortunately he came back empty handed. I then began to think of all the classic school changing room/Gym/football field clichés, you might recognise some…

‘What you do mean you forgot your kit Elson…. You can do P.E in your vest and pants then……”

“Get down from there….. DID I TELL YOU TO CLIMB THE WALL BARS……”

“100 metre sprint….. go…… last one to finish puts the cones away……”

“Of course you were picked last…. look at you Elson…..”

“A letter from your mum to excuse you from games? I don’t care if you’ve got a letter from The Queen….. get changed….. NOW!”

And now some non P.E. ones which I assume you heard something similar

“No running in the corridors Elson ……  see me later…..”

“Homework late Again?”

Finally the classic school report comment, my parents must have read this a hundred times over my school career…..

“Simon could do much better in class and fulfil his potential if he stopped talking……”

I hope you can relate to the above…. If you can’t, then it must just be me……


Photo Credit – Laura Elson….. and yes it is of me……







Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s